I know that has been a question alot of people have asked and the answer is that I have been spending alot of my Sundays playing soccer and hanging out with my family. I have also been spending alot of time at work and training for my triathlons.

Now, I know that they are reasonable reasons for going missing but at the same time I am sorry for not getting back to some of you when you tried to talk to me. I am also sorry that I neglected my other family which is you guys. And for that I am truly sorry. I hope that no one is mad at me for going missing for a month and half or so but only know that I will be making an effort to get back to spending time with you guys.

That being said, please forgive me at times if I am a little less energetic and a lot more tired, as training for my races is a lot of work and time consuming. However, I invite who ever wishes to come root me on at my races, as the more fans to cheer the better. But BE WARNED Triathlons take place early so if you go to cheer you will have to wake up early.

Anyway, I will try to repost some other thoughts later but I wanted to get my apology for going missing out there, especially to Bob for not being able to be there to help.

THE BONE

P.S.

Races that I am doing are as follows:

Alligator Creek Triathlon – Sunday August 20th Approx. 7am

Lewis and Clark Half Marathon – Sunday September 17th Approx. 7am

St. Peters Rec Plex Triathlon – Sunday October 1st Start times are from 7am to 10am ( I will be somewhere in there, ask Katie and Jen last year they waited an hour and a half -what troopers)
If you want to go ask me for directions. And I apologize now, because if I get done early I will go to mass a little sweaty and a lot of stinky.:)

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Whew, where or where should I even start?!?

First off, I am now a full pledged Catholic, WOO HOOO!!!!! It was such a great and rewarding journey. The journey has not stopped but as I pause today to reflect on the past 2 weeks I am awe struck at how far I have come and at the same time how much more road lies ahead for me to journey. I have never been so happy in my life than to have all my family ( blood and Christian) there to welcome me into the family. I was so moved that I think it is just now starting to sink in. I have no way to express the fullness of the love and grace I felt in that Church last night and the how wonderful and filling it was to finally partake in the Body and Blood of our Savior with my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Starting with Palm Sunday, I must say I grew and loved and learned more than I might ever have in all my life. To truly experience the celebration of Easter with all focus on Jesus and his loving sacrifice was, is and (god willing) will always be a truly blessed celebration.

On Holy Thursday, we celebrated the Last Supper and the washing of the Feet. The beauty of the mass was when in an act of symbology the priest and deacons washed the feet of some of the parishioners. Now in the past I used to say “what an honor it must be to have your feet washed by the clergy” I strangely and (now gladly) was thinking to myself “How wonderful and blessed is it to wash those feet!”. I thought of how wonderful it was that the clergy did not just stand behind a pulpit and preach service but instead, lived it. I am not sure what happened to make that switch but I am ever thankful. Thankful that my heart may be starting to see the beauty in service. Thankful that I am beginning to look for ways to serve rather than looking for ways to be served. I can only pray that God will complete the transformation of my heart to that of a servants and allow me to never cease my desires to serve and that when an opportunity presents itself that I will humbly acknowledge the need and do all that I can with God to serve that need.

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Well today was the third scrutiny and something happened today that has not happened at the past 2 scrutinies. It was a special scrutiny and I think it was because most of the people I know and love from Cletus were at this one. I was sad that I wasn’t able to share it with one of the people I love the most, but he had someone that I think needed him more and I will gladly put others needs before me, at least hope I can always do that. Anyway, as I stood up in front of the Parish I thought back through the week and how it was a great week also but how it was also marked with some low points which I was ashamed of. I thought about the intense struggles I had been through this week and how it was possible for me to be happy with my failures. I had already spent this morning begging God to forgive me and to re-strengthen my resolve. I spent that morning yearning to ease my heart of the guilt and allow it to get back to home with God. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait to long for that to happen.

As I stood up there, in the gaps between prayers, my eyes decided to look up and see what others were doing. The first time I looked up I saw Michelle and quite honestly it wasn’t hard because she had a huge grin on her face and it went straight to my heart. It reached into my heart and let me know that I was loved and welcomed, stains and all. In that moment my shame was gone and I heard God in that smile telling me it was ok and that I would always be loved. The second time that I looked up, I caught a very similar smile but this time it was from Tom. We caught each others eyes and I could feel the joy coming from him. And as I walked past him we had a nice huge manly hug that just said volumes without any words at all. I could feel God saying to me, through Tom, that He was proud of me and that even though I may slip and stumble at times He takes pride in the desire to make progress towards Him. The third time I looked up, I caught the gaze of a woman that I did not even know. Yet, even though I didn’t know her she smiled at me as if she had known me for years. Her smile may have been the greatest of all. Her smile seemed to tell me that, even though she didn’t know me and I didn’t know her, she was happy for me to join her family. I felt that if she were to say something it would have been along the lines of “I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but we both know God and for that you are my family and I love you.”.

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This weekend (starting Thursday) has probably been the best weekend so far. Although very busy, I have gone through it without any feelings of being rushed, which I must say can be very relaxing. The first reason that it has been one of the best is that I am in the process of moving in with 2 of my best friends and I know that it is going to be awesome. Besides the fact that I am now only 8 miles from work compared to 20, it will also make me a better person by doing this. Living with 2 of my best friends is going to hold me personally and spiritually accountable to only make me a stronger servant for God. Outside of that it will also strengthen my relationship with my family, by allowing me to be separated from them, I will once again be with them because of my desire for them compared to being with them because I live there and have nowhere else to be. I can only pray that God will continue to bless me in the ways that He has, and to bless this house. Since I started moving in here, I have been trying to take my prayer life to the next level and in that I have started to pray a blessing on to this house every time I pull up to go inside, it is a prayer that I got from a prayer book Father Jeff let me borrow and I think it is an amazing prayer. It goes:

Hear me, Lord,

and send your angel from heaven

to visit and protect,

to comfort and defend

all who live in this house.

May the Lord of peace give us

peace

all the time and in every way.

The Lord be with us.

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It is amazing how much one persons world can change in the span of 24 hours. This is how I know. All this came to pass in the past 24 hours.

For the past month I have had a growing sense that something huge was on the horizon, something that would change my life and be the start of an amazing journey. It’s no surprise to me that this feeling began as soon as I began to ask God to show me what His will for my life was. Unlike the many times I have asked before, this time I had the faith, “faith that could move mountains”, that I was ready and He would give me the guidance I needed. Like I ended my previous blog, everyday I would pray for, not only, the guidance but the eyes, ears and hearts to recognize His voice calling out to me.

After this weekend I can safely say that I believe I have experienced God calling me to my journey. In fact, I think He has bee more than persistent as, looking back, I have ignored many signs over the past month. This recognition came when God mad a straight forward expression, one that was a slap to my face and impossible to ignore, this Sunday. One thing I can say with certainty is that, at least in my situation, God did not speak with a loud booming voice from the sky. Instead He spoke to me through dreams that seemed to linger over me with tremendous power, through off the wall comments from people surrounding me that could easily have been pushed off as coincidences. He also spoke through those closest to me by having them challenge and support me.

So knowing that God was calling me to take the next step, I was suddenly on the doorstep of that ‘big change’ there was a decision to be made. I had to decide whether I would follow or turn away and hide behind the fear of the unknown. Every time I would contemplate what I was supposed to do, one thought constantly popped in my head. When Jesus approached His Disciples to follow Him they did not hesitate, they didn’t say ‘ let me think about it’, Jesus didn’t offer them a week to think it over and promise to return. He asked, they heard His voice, dropped everything and followed. After finding that there was no easy way to decide, I chose to do the one thing that I had always hoped to have the courage to do. I decided to come out from behind the fear, listen to my heart, and follow the call that Jesus was making.

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