Life Teen Float Trip Wednesday July 9th, 2008

WHAT: FLOAT TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHEN: Wednesday July 9th, 2008
TIME: 8:15 AM at the parish hall
WHERE: Parish Hall and Steeleville, MO
PICK-UP: 8:30 PM-Parish Hall
WHO: All High School Students
COST: $20.00
EXTRAS: Bring sack lunch; SUNSCREEN, towel, water shoes. Drinks & Dinner will be provided.
Reserve by: July 8th, 2008
Questions: Call Bob at 314-623-5258 or email hamer@saintcletuschurch.org
Click here to download the permission slip

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It’s funny what you learn when you take time to really listen to people, when you are actually paying attention to them and aren’t off in your own little world or distracted.  I found myself actually listening to someone last week while on Christpower (and I was a lot better at it than I normally am) and I realized how much I had in common in this person. As she shared with me her struggles and her hurts and how she felt, I just wanted to tell her how much I got what she was going through but I couldn’t because so many times that is said, and it’s like yeah, whatever, you could never understand how I really feel. The thing is though, I got what she is going through more than she will ever know, it’s like we’re living the same life. I think a lot of people, including myself, do that with Christ. We’re like, you don’t get it, you don’t get this pain or this hurt that I have right now. And he tries to tell us that he does, but we don’t hear him, or don’t believe him, or don’t want to believe him.  But the thing is, he does get it. More than we know. And he knows us better than we know ourselves, he knows our hurts ,our trials ,our sufferings. And he gets it. He understands. And best of all, he loves us when we are not at our best, when we are broken and a mess and when we feel like no one could possibly love us or understand us. What more could we ask for in a Savior?  

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Our second “traditional” Life Night of the summer, “Rationalize” has to do with how and why we justify the mistakes we make in our lives. Come join us as we discuss how we do this, as well as ways we can learn from the mistakes that we make. Hope to see you there.

Who: All high school teens, including incoming freshmen and graduating seniors.
What: Life Night
When: 7:30 – 9 p.m. Sunday, July 6, 2008
Where: St. Cletus Parish Hall
Why: It’ll be a lot of fun, highly educational, and a lot more fun. In that order.

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I’ve read many books that are hard to put down. Right now, I’m halfway through a book that has been hard to pick up. It’s Blessed are the Bored in Spirit by Mark Hart. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I have to force myself to pick up the book and read, and even then, I’m only reading a chapter at a time. It’s not the writing style or anything, Mark is a wonderful writer. I can actually hear his voice saying some of these things. And some things even hit me and make me take a hard look at what I’m doing. But for some reason I just can’t get into it.

There was one thing I read last night that really stuck with me. Jesus is supposed to be driving the car of your life, right? Mark was talking about how sometimes, we don’t always let Him drive. Sometimes, we make Him take the passenger seat, sometimes the back seat, and even sometimes, we drop Him off on the side of the road and hit the gas as hard as we can. Because we want our way. We think our way of things is going to turn out better than anything God could ever have planned for us.

I’m not quite sure where Jesus is in my car, or if He is even in my car, but He is most definitely NOT in the driver’s seat. Because for a while now, I’ve unknowingly pushed aside God and pushed forward MY wants, and MY needs, and MY way of how MY life should go. It’s not God’s voice I’ve been hearing, it’s my voice, and I’ve tricked myself into thinking that it’s God.

As I was driving home today, the song “Jesus take the wheel” by Carrie Underwood came on. The refrain really hit me. It’s something I should really be praying, but yet so afraid to. I’ve grown accustomed to MY way, I’m afraid of what GOD’S way might be.

“Jesus take the wheel. Take it from my hands. Cause I can’t do this on my own. I’m letting go. So give me one more chance. To save me from this road I’m on. Jesus take the wheel.”

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I had been speaking with a friend of mine about how he was doing in his walk of faith and where he was experiencing Love the most.  He had mentioned how earlier this year he had really been struggling in his spirituality, but recently he had been able to feel God’s love in many places – through his friends, his family, the books he read – even a little bird who he shared dinner with.  I was a bit jealous of him because while I used to be able to see God’s love and presence clearly in all aspects of my life, this has recently become harder for me.

I think one of the reasons I have been so blind to God’s love lately is because of the walls I have been putting up.  I always try to put on happy face when I’m around others because I thought if I could convince others that I am happy, that I could convince myself I am happy.  I’ve come to realize that this is what is hurting me the most.  Not only am I keeping most of those around me at a distance, I am also keeping God at a distance. 

In order to let God back in, I really need to break down the walls and allow myself to be vulnerable.  It is only through being honest with myself that I will be able to let others, and hopefully God, back into my life.  The vulnerability scares me because without the walls I have been putting up, it is a lot easier to be hurt by others, but I have faith in God, and the goodness of others, that they will be there for me, even when I am unable to put a smile on my face.

My friend said it would be easiest for God to speak to me if I were able to put myself into places and situations where I feel loved.  I took his advice and this week I have been very focused on doing just that.  I’ve spent time eating dinner with my grandparents, hanging out with a good friend and watching TV, reading a book in St. Cletus’ parking lot before open gym, and, most recently, sitting in Bread Co, eating some broccoli cheese soup, and actually writing this blog on my napkin.  I have felt very loved this week.  I’m not saying all the walls are broken down, or that I’ve been able to completely let God back into my life, but it’s a start.  Hopefully it’s just the tip of the iceberg.  Hopefully this will be one story that will have a happy ending.

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