What the heck, Coach? It seems like just week ago I was outside and it was in the 70s and now it’s snowing as I look out my window… That’s just not right that the holiday season can creep up on me like that… But in all honesty, I didn’t really feel like I was in the “Christmas” mood ’til this past Friday. (No I did not wake up at 3:30 A.M. to get great deals on presents.) Let me explain what went on…..

I woke up at the crack of 8 A.M. It was nice to wake up to a little brother asking if I would let him play guitar hero.  I ended up going to breakfast with my parents. I went to work, so far nothing special. At work my friend Matt and I were talking about the Christmas season and how people don’t take it like they should. In our opinions, everyone is too worried about this or that, not on what is really important: spending time with your family. I say family and not family and friends because, for me, I spend way too much time with my friends. I see at least one of them every day and that is bound to get worse over the holiday season. Is that bad? No, I don’t think that it is. But I think that if I spend too much time with them and not with my family it could be. Christmas should be about spending time with loved ones, which is not just your friends.

But I still didn’t feel like I was in that “Christmas mood” that so many people claim to be in. Like at breakfast we went to Bob Evans. There was this group of moms with their Santa hats on. They claimed to be in that “Christmas mood” that I was trying to find.

(To get sidetracked for a couple of seconds, Christmas is my favorite season of all. To me nothing is better than Christmas. But I hope I have good reasons for it. I love Christmas for the music and the snow and the ability to drink hot chocolate and not look stupid because its 30° outside and not 70°. I love Christmas because it brings the two memories of my late grandfather that I have. It brings back memories of going sledding when I was 5 on the biggest hill EVER (turns out that hill is like 20 feet tall).)

Now back to the moms. These people who claimed to be in the “Christmas mood” were the reason that I also hate Christmas. They were complaining about how they woke up at 3:30, had been shopping, were tired and hungry, and were upset that they had to wait all of 7 minutes to get seated at Bob Evans. Is that really the Christmas mood? They were in such a rush to get things bought and all this that they passed up all the fun..

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So tonight was scheduled to be a crazy but good night for me. There was a vocations panel at 7pm, Eucharistic procession at 8pm, and a dessert party at 9pm. My roommate and I went to the vocations panel at 7, but it went long. We knew that the procession was just doing the campus mile though (big square around/through campus) so we went looking for it, even though we were late. We walked all over campus and couldn’t find them until it was ending up at the Abbey.  After finally finding Jesus, we decided to go to the chapel and thank him for letting us find him (even if it was 20 minutes after we had started searching). 

I feel like my life is like this a lot sometimes. Like I’m wandering all over trying to find something, knowing it’s out there but am not quite sure where.  At times I’m not sure where to look, who to ask where to go, or even where to go once I know I’m not in the right place.  “When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord. ” This is not always something easy to do. Laura and I kept telling ourselves “if you seek me you shall find me” tonight as we were wandering around but it took us longer than we had planned to find him.  God’s plans aren’t always our plans. We might have one plan for our life and God might have something entirely different in mind.  You might feel like a nomad, wandering around aimlessly. Other times you might be right on track and feel as though that is where God wants you. Although it might not seem like it, God always puts you where he wants you. While we were wandering around trying to find Jesus, my roommate and I had pretty good discussion. Maybe God didn’t want us to find him so we could have that discussion.  I don’t know. We can’t understand why God does the things he does or why he puts us in the places we are.  We just have to trust, knowing that we are where God wants us to be and that he has a plan that is far greater than anything we could ever image. 

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Photos have been added to the gallery and are in three different albums. By clicking on the Gallery tab, you’ll find pics from the retreat (which just ended…this has to be some kind of record), the corn maze, and some other miscellaneous pics from 2008. Enjoy.

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David Crowder’s “You’re Everything” (iTunes | Lyrics) has been one of those songs in my library that I’ve vastly underestimated. I didn’t often skip over it when it began playing, but I don’t think that I really appreciated it for all it is. After listening to, and singing, it the past two Encounters, I declare that this song is perfectly “imperfect.”

The first half of the song is a list of questions coming from a broken, fallible human.

If I could just feel You’re touch could I be free?
Why do You shine so?
Can a blind man see?
Why do You call?
Do You beckon me?
Can the deaf hear the voice of love?
Would You bid me come?
Can the cripple run?
Are You the one?

This broken, fallible human is speaking to his perfect, all-encompassing creator. The second bridge speaks to that realization, that God heals all of our brokenness, perfects all of our imperfections, and can be our “everything.”

Look how you shine so
The blind can see
And how you call
How you beckon me
The deaf hear
The voice of love
You bid me come
And the cripple run
You’re the one

This week has seen me being that broken, fallible human being in preparing for our upcoming retreat. Not many things have gone the way I expected or planned. I’ve fallen behind, struggled, fallen. This song, however, reminds me that Jesus will perfect everything in me. He will give me ears to hear His Word. He will heal my limbs so that I can run to Him. He IS the one. I am so ready for this retreat.

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“Sometimes people put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.”

This is one of many quotes I have on the wall of my dorm room. I think it is so incredibly true. I know so many times in my life I have done that exact thing. I’ve put walls up, not wanting to draw attention to myself, but just seeing who would care enough to notice. I was listening to the homily this morning by this visting priest who is incredible. He was talking about how God is the only one with the key to our hearts. How many times do we try and lock God out? How many times do we try and keep God in our lives, but only on Sundays? The thing about God is though, he’s just not going to come in and kick the door down. He could, but he’s not going to. God wants you to open the door and let him into your life. He wants to be apart of your life. He wants to be there for you, he longs to be there for you. But he’s not going to force himself on you. We have to willing to let him in, let him be the one to knock down the walls, let him be there for us so we can better know his love. Because who doesn’t want to know the great, amazing love of God?

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