I saw The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian for the first time a couple nights ago. The above lines have stuck with me since I watched the movie. So many times I am in Prince Caspian’s place telling God that I’m not ready, that God expects to much of me, whatever. However, just like Aslan knows Caspian can do it, God knows what each of us is capable of. When we don’t think enough of ourselves, we have to think about what we can do with God on our side. The more let God work through us, the more we can do because of God working in us. God can work through anyone. We simply have to be the ones to open to letting him do so.

Now for the purpose of this blog. Saturday night I came back from work to see all of you guys in adoration, and Timmy walking out of the can. He and I decided to go check on the set up for the “God’s Love” talk and the warm fuzzies that followed.

During Bob’s talk, I was talking to the Cori Team about what was gonna happen and what to do. And Ross said something to me that just shook me deeply. After I was done telling them what to do, he asked me if he could go down to the church because he didn’t get much time during adoration and he “just wanted his Jesus time.”  For him to say something like that just knocked me down. I think that Luke 18 is really for all of us; while, yes, it’s meant to be for 7th and 8th graders, it should also be used for the high school kids as well.  I don’t think that we use it as that.  So to hear this from Ross made me think that maybe there is hope that you guys do take something out of it, other than being tired.

Personally this weekend was a learning experence, and it was a chance for me to rebuild friendships that have lost some of their flame and I made some great new ones. I have deeply missed seeing all of you on a weekly basis, so hopefully that will change during the summer.

Or, at least, that’s what was supposed to happen.

Once I got there, however, I couldn’t focus at all. My mind was all over the place, thinking about my girlfriend, then work, then Life Teen, then my plans for the weekend, then the package that I was tracking, then the temperature in the building, then what time The Office was supposed to be on and if it was new that night, then that I needed to trim my fingernails, then how hungry I was, and then all of that stuff in reverse. I just could not, for the life of me, concentrate and put my all into the experience.

All that I was able to bring that night was my presence. Not much more. Legend has it that Woody Allen once said, “Eighty percent of life is just showing up.” It is in moments like last Thursday, that I really hope that to be true. I really hope, and I really believe, that my presence alone is occasionally enough to satisfy God. It wasn’t the best effort I’ve ever given, and certainly not my best result, but I was trying.

I think it’s important to remember that quote when we’re our best laid plans don’t go as well as we’d hoped. Sometimes, in many situations, just being there is good enough.

I ran away with the circus,
Since I fell in love with you, since I fell in love with you.

I feel like this describes my life since I first started LifeTeen. I realized how in love with God I was, and I decided to “run away with the circus.” I went to lifenights, attended Noon Mass each week, and went on retreats. Some of my friends didn’t get what had changed in me – but I knew. I had fallen in love with God, and I had given up my past in order to run away with the circus, in order to live my life for God and to show my love for him through LifeTeen.

I’m just a clown in your circus
Ever since you caught my eye, ever since you caught my eye.

Since high school I have moved on to the next verse of the song. Not only have I “run away with the circus”, but I’m now a “clown in the circus” – I have joined Core Team.  I’m no longer just a bystander, but I’m now part of the main act. It’s up to me, and my fellow “clowns” to keep the teens interested in the circus, to keep them so in love with God that they want to come back week after week.

It’s not always easy. It often requires me to step out of my comfort zone. But each week I remember why I’m doing this. I’m doing this because I’m in love with God, and I’m doing this so that hopefully the teens will also want to run away with the circus and join me in experiencing God’s love.

What’s keeping you from joining the circus?

Something that has been on my mind a lot since the trip is how we are in so much more poverty here than they are. While they might be materially poor, they are also very rich. They understand things about life that I can’t even begin to understand. On a note that will make more sense in a minute, I went to women’s night the other night. It was a modesty fashion show and they also touched on inner beauty and how important it is to realize our beauty and our dignity as women. In thinking about this in relation to El Salvador, our entire world is in such greater poverty than I have ever realized. I knew it when I came back because we lack the faith, sense of community, genuine care of the well being of others. Here we are poor on so many other levels. We have people starving themselves, not reaching out to others, not giving a care because they don’t get it. They don’t get that life is so much more than what you look like, the fact that life is rough right now, the fact that you don’t like another person, whatever. Life is so much more than the trival things we make it out to be. Our world is in need of people to rise up and recognize the dignity of each person, to see the beauty that each individual is meant to bring to this world. So many people don’t think they are good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, worth enough. I have met so many amazing people in my life that can’t see the awesomeness that is them. People are afraid of themselves. They are afraid of what they are capable of doing, they are afraid of failure. However, if we are too afraid to take leaps of faith, we are never going to get anywhere. We are never going to be able to move on to bigger and better things if we are too afraid to take the next step. But sitting back waiting for someone else to step up gets absolutely nothing done. So what if you fall flat on your face- at least you can say you tried. That’s all we can do sometimes.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, famous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

So what are you waiting for? Shine on.

What I did not expect was this:

About two seconds after introducing Megan to Christyn, Christyn asked Megan if she would like to “do gifts” with her. And about two seconds after that, Megan said, “Umm…sure.”

I was a bit shocked, both by Christyn’s actions, and by Megan’s response. I was thinking, “What’s the best way to make someone new uncomfortable? Ask them to play a significant role in whatever is going on.” But that’s exactly what happened. And Megan accepted.

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that what had just happened in front of me mirrored what needs to happen in an authentic Christian environment, full of people who are trying to be authentically Christian.

Christianity requires invitations. It requires us to invite others to be a part of what is going on in our lives. Not only for our good, but for his or her good as well. It requires us to step outside of our comfort zone for a minute and provide others the possibility to be a part of our lives. Not just our physical lives, but our spiritual lives as well.

Christianity also requires that we accept those invitations, those ones that we’re not so comfortable with, the ones that we know could change things, could change us. Again, we must be able to step outside of our comfort zone and say “YES!” to something we can’t even prove. We must be ready to push ourselves to open up to others, to be real with them, if a Christian environment is going to work. We must challenge ourselves and be prepared to be challenged by others.

This past Sunday, I learned just how important one simple question and one simple answer could be.

I know somethin’ you don’t know, and I got somethin’ to tell ya…

That exact line popped into my head while I was at church yesterday. As is evidenced by a couple of past posts by me, I have often been inspired by the recipients of Holy Communion, but yesterday it was a Eucharistic Minister that had me in awe. I could tell the way Jennie was distributing hosts that, not only did she completely believe what she was telling each recipient (”The Body of Christ”), but that that belief had made an authentic and personal difference in her life. It had transformed her, the same way the bread had been transformed into the Body of Christ. She was standing there, sharing that secret with each person, saying, “I know somethin’ you don’t know, and I got somethin’ to tell ya,” in her own little way.

Simply beautiful.

I ran across one of those songs about 15 minutes ago. Right now it’s on the 3rd or 4th time through and I have no plans on changing it anytime soon. This song is “God of Justice” by Tim Hughes. It was sung at least once a week at camp. It always served as a great reminder that we are here to serve others (at camp, namely the teens). I need that reminder often. It also addresses another problem of mine…

“Stepping forward keep us from just singing”

So many times, I get caught up in the song, I forget what it’s about. I’m not praying through song, I’m singing. I’m not taking to heart what the words truly mean. And often times, when my prayer life becomes a little dry, I tell myself: “well I listen to mostly Christian songs, those are prayers, my prayer life is fine.” When in reality that’s not true. It’s when my prayer life is dry that I get caught up in the songs. It’s one problem of mine I desperately need to fix.
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord

I was just reminded of a cartoon from the ever popular nakedpastor.com

]]> http://cletusyouth.net/blog/archives/537/feed 0 http://cletusyouth.net/blog/archives/535 http://cletusyouth.net/blog/archives/535#comments Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:08:43 +0000 chris http://cletusyouth.net/blog/?p=535 Since the middle of December, I have been watching the sun rise a minute or two earlier everyday. Mind you, I haven’t been getting up, stepping outside, and actively watching the sun rise. Instead, I notice the miniscule changes in the rising time via my way to work. In December…and January…and most of February I had to have my lights on while driving to work. Ever so slowly, as the days got a little longer, I had to use my lights for less and less of the drive to work. Finally, just a week or two ago, I was headlight free, as the sun finally rose before I began my journey to work.

And now I’m right where I began, leaving for work in complete darkness. This Daylight Savings Time thing has completely messed me up. I know that driving to work in daylight or darkness really isn’t that big of a deal when I think about it, but it does affect my mood. I felt so much better, and had so much more energy in the morning, when I drove to work in daylight.

I feel like this change mimics my faith life sometimes. I’ll be trodding along, doing a little bit better each day in my spiritual journey, when out of nowhere, something I cannot control sets me back. I’m left wondering what the heck happened and how long it will take to get back to where I was before. Sometimes I wish that I had more control over how I feel spiritually.